I did my first Facebook live yesterday. Wow! It was as terrifying as everyone says. Especially for someone like me, not especially interested in mediated exposure, an introvert at heart. Still, when you’re growing a brand new business and an online community, the willingness to make yourself known through writing and images in the form of posts - whether on a blog like this or social media platforms - is a must.

It was an extemporaneous ramble in the form of a Facebook group “open house” that turned out to be just me, my iPhone camera, and a few visitors. Fortunately, my new business offering is on creativity, and the subject of fear naturally came up. Isn’t that one of the biggest creative hurdles? I was able to share my own anxieties openly. I was in feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway mode. It was so helpful to just admit it. And keep going. On camera no less. Live.

Creativity opens us to vulnerability. Putting ourselves out there is tough. It’s hard to...

When I worked as a designer, trying things out was a natural part of the process. Making models and sketches were ways of testing ideas by making them visible, tangible. Once real, we could put them in front of people for feedback. What worked? What didn’t? Revisions were based on that feedback. “Back to the drawing board” was the norm. Then another cycle of feedback, and another, honing in on our final solution.

As you can see, failure was the norm. For each thing that worked in a given round of design, were all those that didn’t. Failure wasn’t a big deal. It was a natural part of figuring things out. Honing in. Refining. Improving. In the business world “fail fast” has become a mantra for companies trying to foster a culture of innovation. It helps ease the inhibiting fear that can come with the prospect of failure.

Often my clients express a sense of failure in the many thoughts, feelings, and attitudes they bring. The therapist in me...

Every attempt at behavioral change demands doing things differently. In my work with clients in recovery from drug and alcohol use, great effort is made at “staying clean.” This typically involves avoiding people, places, and things associated with substance use, developing “trigger management skills,” and making lifestyle changes. It’s hard work. And when it becomes too hard, relapse happens. Or if not full-blown relapse, a “slip,” before the client resumes their recovery efforts.

Whenever this happens in any behavioral change effort, especially when abstinence of any kind is the desired goal (think dieting), fatigue arises. The effort becomes tiring, too much work. The client eventually gives in, seeking relief from an effort that’s become overwhelming.

Too much concerted effort just doesn’t work in the long run. It is too much work. It is tiring. It is a drag. It does feel like punishment. It feels depriving because it is.

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I've had my fair share of failures, and I've witnessed many that were not my own. Looking closely, I recognize something they all have in common: a failure of the imagination, an inability to envision another possibility. So we get what we get:  more of the same, stuckness, boredom, or a dream unrealized.

When we’re able to envision - to see richly with the mind’s eye - possibility opens. Imagining allows us to expand the scope of what we consider - to see past our usual limits. It makes room for more. And when we give ourselves permission to take our imaginings seriously, they have a way of leading us, energizing us to take action. We’re able to see the steps we need to take and take them instead of thinking about them. A rich imagination inspires action.

If you’ve gotten lost in your daydreams and fantasies, you undoubtedly disagree. Maybe your imaginings have produced a state of intoxicated avoidance. You’d rather be in your head than in the...

From time to time, I use props in my therapy sessions. They’re great for introducing a sense of play, and for mediating the interaction between me and my client(s). I’ve used the Hoberman Sphere pictured above to demonstrate cognitive concepts to my group therapy clients, opening and closing the sphere to demonstrate flexibility and constriction. Each time, my clients are absolutely alert and attentive. After the demonstration, we pass the sphere around, with each member flexing it to demonstrate their current state.

The barriers that arise during talk therapy can often be overcome by using props, since they support kinesthetic engagement. (Of course, some clients are as resistant to props as they are to speaking.) Sometimes I use a shawl (any length of cloth or rope or even a flexible band would do), holding one end while my client holds the other. We pull, sometimes gently, sometimes firmly, each trying to match the give and take of the other. It’s a dance, but a...

Every therapist gets stuck now and then when working with a client, unable to move things forward. While often this gets called "client resistance," doing so ignores the fact that the therapist is participating in the "stuckness" too. Quite actively. (Or passively, as the case may be.) While there are many ways to get unstuck, I regularly remind myself of things that help.

• Are my verbal responses to the client predictable and repetitive? If so, do I attribute this to (i.e. blame) the client instead of recognizing my complicity? Am I able to change my responses in a way that disrupts the cycle of predictability? I find that when I am able to do so, the work shifts.
• If I'm primarily a "talk therapist," do I find opportunities for somatic engagement? Feeling, sensing? Changing sensory channels relieves us from the confines of speech and language. This can be freeing for client and therapist alike. Sometimes I use props to accomplish this - objects that can be handled between us. ...